This is my writing about the opening scene in a short pixar animation La Luna. We had to write 2 paragraph to describe the opening scene to see which one was our best one. I like my first paragraph the best.
One calm night, the sky was illuminated by the stars. They glistened against the ocean water. The moon in the sky made an ombre effect which reflected in the water like it was a mirror. An old man, a bulky man and an innocent child came along in a boat.
A buff bulky man rowed powerful strokes in the ocean water . While he was rowing the boat the innocent child peered into the water looking at the oars with his googly eyes. He looked like he was daydreaming but in the night.
Hi Dhara! My name is Lacey Roach. I'm a college student at the University of South Alabama in Mobile, Alabama in the United States. I'm going to school to become a teacher. In one of my required classes, I've had to start blogging. I'm very new to this, and I must say that your blog looks so much nicer than mine.
ReplyDeleteBoth of your paragraphs were great! However, I liked the first one a little more. It contained a lot of descriptive details. I could picture everything quite vividly! I looked up the video on YouTube after reading your post. What I pictured while reading the first paragraph was very similar to what the video actually looked like. I can see why writing is one of your favorite subjects. You're pretty good at it. Great job!